My long-time (25+ years) pen pal in England marvels at my openness when writing about the most personal aspects of my life. Diana was brought up with the British stiff upper lip approach to life whereas I am ready to hop onto a therapist’s couch at the slightest twitch. I grew up in the culture of Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Phil. Whatever one might think about those media icons or the dozens of other American confess-and-be-healed talkathons, they’ve unmasked masses of the walking wounded looking for a path to healing – providing solace in sharing the lessons learned at the school of hard knocks.
Well beyond talk shows, self-help has found a welcome home in publishing. It’s estimated that more than $1 billion in self-help books sell every year. They sell in numbers large enough to be included in the New York Times Sunday Book Review, where best-sellers are listed under “Advice, How-To and Miscellaneous.”
As popular as self-help books are (perhaps magnified by the anxious times we live in), they have their critics. Anyone can hang a shingle proclaiming he or she can help you. Anyone can publish a book proclaiming it will help you.
Sandra Dolby, a retired professor of folklore at Indiana University read 300 self-help titles as preparation for her own book, Self-Help Books: Why Americans Keep Reading Them (University of Illinois Press, 2008). Her take on this genre is, “Reading them is like going to a trusted friend to ask for advice, and listening to them tell you what they think you should do and why it would be a good thing. Most people like the idea of self-education and discovery, which is encouraging.”
I come down somewhere in the middle on self-help books. Books that address our challenges with helpful advice deserve our attention. At the same time, caveat emptor – buyer beware. Check a book’s reviews and the reviewers. Peruse the chapter headings. Read some of the advice. Does it resonate with you? Each book is like a potential new friend: it must stand on its own to prove its worthiness.
One form of self-help comes from victims who became victors. There’s comfort in seeing a successful path forged by others who precede us. Wounded? Survive! Thrive!!! is such a book. It is a collection of true accounts by 101 women who faced a variety of crises yet reclaimed their lives – and who share what they learned along the way. Most contributors are not professional writers but they candidly divulge their personal stories to help others, men as well as women. As Dolby suggests, “Reading them is like going to a trusted friend.” The book also offers a list of resources.
To learn more about Wounded? Survive! Thrive!!! and hear one woman’s incredible story, watch my Book●ed interview with “stolen” adoptee Ellen Miller, starting Monday, August 5th at 8 PM (EST) at www.bookedwebcast.com.
The newest edition of Book●ed is shown on Watch Now and in the Archives, while all previous shows remain available in the Archives. And while you’re visiting the Book●ed website, check out the Book Excerpts page where you can purchase any book reviewed on my show..